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 Post subject: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:36 am 
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So, I got the January Penzey's catalog/recipe collection. Not only does this one have a spread of ethnic recipes (mostly from immigrants to Wisconsin and Minnesota), but it's full of terrible puns. Example: "Look Who's Cumin To Dinner".

With the Penzey's Catalog we got something called "Uncommon Goods", which is kind of like if Regretsy had a catalog. Some highlights:

From their collection of Valentine's Day "couples" items comes this incredibly surreal offering:

Big Spoon, Little Spoon Bracelet Set

Woven with matching charms hand-cast in Laos from the reclaimed aluminum remains of bombs dropped in the 1960's, this sharable set lets you show how much you care for each other one loving spoonful at a time.

Wait ... what?

"Here honey, to show you how much I love you, I bought you a piece of Vietnam War ordinance. It allows me to compare you to a diminuative eating utensil."

Love Letter Napkin Set

Transform any meal into a romantic rendezvous with these amorous table linens. Each carries the text of a love letter written by a literary great.

These include:

  • Jack London, to his wife, Bess, whom he dumped unceremoniously when he met Charmain.
  • Emily Dickinson, who died single after 40 years of seclusion.
  • D.H.Lawrence, whose letter addresses the husband of the woman he's diddling.
  • Mark Twain, the only romantic of the bunch.

Tree-carved Initials Crap

You can get a necklace, signet ring, plisner glass, wine glass, wine storage box, birch-bark cuff, pillow, or anniversary plate, all with similar crappy designs of "our initials carved into a tree".

Love Is Art

Express your love through abstract expressionism with fine artist Jeremy Brown's bold idea for making one-of-a-kind art. Each kit allows couples to capture the beauty of intimacy in a new and elegant way by bringing the canvas to the bedroom.

Wait ... are they suggesting ... ?

Kit includes plastic sheeting, white cotton canvas, black non-toxic and washable red or black paint, disposable slippers, body scrubber.

Um, yeah, I guess they are. "What is seen cannot be unseen".



Other fun stuff in the catalog includes:

Rowboat Salad Bowl: Picture: http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/ro ... g-utensils

Artisanal Bamboo Salt Chest, which includes 24 kinds of salt. For the hypertensive gourmet who has everything. Note that it's the bamboo which is artisinal, not the salt.

Tipsy Wine Glass Set: why throw out 10% of the wine glasses just because they're warped? We can unload these on idiots! Bonus points: use these to serve red wine over a white tablecloth. What could go wrong? http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/tipsy-wine-glasses

Stoneware TV Dinner Tray Set: because you want to serve homemade food and make it look like crappy microwaved stuff.

Ladybug Castle and Butterfly Puddler, for everyone who bought into the whole "butterfly house" idea. Did you know that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

Have your dog or cat's nose cast as a "Nose Print Necklace". How, exactly, does one get a cat's nose pressed into a plaster mold? While the cat's still alive? "Hey, Al, this mold has flecks of blood on it too!"

It should also be noted that, our favorite nose-injury device having fallen from the W-S and SLT catalogs, the Whiskey Stones have now ended up in Uncommon Goods. I predict that sometime in the near future, maybe about two years from now, someone will have the opportunity to purchase an entire warehouse full of soapstone cut into 2" cubes for $200. This will lead to a truly spectacular Mythbusters episode.

And, finally, our winner in the category of "catalog items which sound like the randomly-generated subject line of a spam email":

Marimo Moss Ball Light Bulb Terrarium

The wonderful thing about this item is that it makes an equal amount of nonsense regardless of how you rearrange the words:

  • Light Ball Moss Bulb Terrarium Marimo
  • Terrarium Light Marimo Bulb Ball Moss
  • Moss Marimo Light Terrarium Ball Bulb
  • Bulb Moss Marimo Terrarium Ball Light

See?

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:46 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:35 am
Posts: 2170
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Whatever you're havin', i'll have some, too :!: :lol:

BRILLIANT & WELL DONE :!: :D


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:31 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:50 pm
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TheFuzzy wrote:

Love Is Art

Express your love through abstract expressionism with fine artist Jeremy Brown's bold idea for making one-of-a-kind art. Each kit allows couples to capture the beauty of intimacy in a new and elegant way by bringing the canvas to the bedroom.

Wait ... are they suggesting ... ?

Kit includes plastic sheeting, white cotton canvas, black non-toxic and washable red or black paint, disposable slippers, body scrubber.

Um, yeah, I guess they are. "What is seen cannot be unseen".




Well, it wouldn't be like Regretsy if there were no bajingos involved.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:00 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:33 pm
Posts: 954
Location: Northern California
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:04 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:36 am
Posts: 894
Location: Springfield, IL
I'm biting my tongue.....

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:41 pm
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Location: Near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
The whisky stones have been showing up on groupon and a few other team sites for weeks now. Literally almost giving them away.

Great review!


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:07 am 
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FWIW, I've gone to many different whisky tastings and the professionals there recommend whisky stones. It's good to see the price coming down; I may get them for my husband.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:58 pm 
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Maybe if the whiskey stones get cheap enough, you'll see someone tile their shower with them.


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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:11 pm 
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Darcie,

Did you actually try them? Every review I've seen of them has been very negative. For one thing, they don't cool your drink like ice does, since they don't melt.

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 Post subject: Re: Fun with VD catalogs
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:57 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:45 pm
Posts: 1531
Location: Ottawa, ON
I have whisky stones. A couple of sets, in fact. Other facts:

- Whisky stones will not cool your whisky down a whole lot. Quite a lot less then ice. Whether this is an advantage or disadvantage is left to the drinker.
- The typical complaint against ice is that it waters down the flavour. There are compelling arguments that to fully taste whisky, it needs watering down; at alcohol percentages that high, we do not taste all the nuances. Of course, one could argue for specific dilution, whereas ices causes variable dilution unless you hammer back that scotch.

Ok ok, the latter fact isn't a fact, more like research indicates :) Maybe given enough research, we could call it a fact.

Disclaimer: I very much enjoy scotch, and also enjoy a good scotch, but couldn't describe one to you, nor could wax poetic about it, nor really name many or discuss their various origins, etc. i.e., All I do is drink the stuff.


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