I'm just shocked that Tabasco made the list in Minnesota. If you add more than 1/2 a teaspoon of pepper to anything people say "oh, it's so spicy!"
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| Retirement http://cookaholics.org/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=1860 |
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| Author: | talanhart [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Retirement |
You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! OR You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far away someplace is, you tell them how long it will take to get there, rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. OR You can retire to New York City where... 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan . 2. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note: IF you have a car). 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. OR You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. OR You can retire to the Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen , Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too. OR You can retire to Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. OR You can retire to the Midwest where... 1. You'll never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" OR FINALLY You can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. |
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| Author: | fitzie [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
I love it! fitzie |
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| Author: | gardnercook [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
Happily retired (sort of) in Colorado and it's all true Ilene |
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| Author: | JesBelle [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
I was just saying to Geekboy last night that my gran's spice cupboard consisted of salt, pepper, pumpkin pie spice, and poultry seasoning. I guess Michigan is only slightly different than Minnesota. |
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| Author: | Darcie [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
I'm just shocked that Tabasco made the list in Minnesota. If you add more than 1/2 a teaspoon of pepper to anything people say "oh, it's so spicy!"
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| Author: | Amy [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
I'm with Ilene...pegged Colorado. Amy |
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| Author: | KSyrahSyrah [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
Perfect. in California, fire, drought earthquakes and Santa Ana winds are considered "weather." LOL. |
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| Author: | phoenix [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
No. Cal is a bit different, but some truth to the list 
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| Author: | SilverSage [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
They sure nailed Florida. |
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| Author: | TheFuzzy [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Retirement |
California is dead-on for Southern California. Here's my contribution: You can retire to Southern Oregon where ... 1. You don't know or see your neighbors, but you have names for all the deer. 2. You spend most of your time talking about fishing, gardening, the weather, local politics, and how awful the retirees who moved there after you did are. 3. You build your home above the flood line, and have dam information on speed dial. 4. You have three freezers in your garage, and are considering buying a fourth. 5. You know all the roads without posted speed limits. 6. You can't decide which you hate more: California or Portland. |
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