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 Post subject: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:51 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:50 pm
Posts: 2062
I have a friend who has always skated just this side of crazy cat lady. She met a man tolerant of this and other foibles and decided to settle down with him. His family lived a fair piece distant, so she never really met them until the Christmas after they were engaged. His family, of course, wanted to get her gifts, so they asked their son what she liked. "Well," he said, "she likes cats." So my friend, who liked actual living cats, and who had a rather minimalist taste in decor, ended up with a dozen objets d'art of the puffy kitties playing with yarn variety.

I can't even tell you how many outdated computer manuals, that my husband already owns 20 copies of, make it into this house from well-meaning friends and relations.

I, of course, get awful recipes. And I'm going to share one with you.

Get ready.

MEAT TO DIE FOR
3-5 lb. chuck roast
meat tenderizer
1/2 cup strong coffee
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 large onion

Sprinkle meat with tenderizer. Poke with fork. Mix other ingredients and pour over meat. Glass dish or Zip-lock bag works good. Let stand at room temperature, turning every few hours all day. Grill over medium-low fire 45 min. to 1 hr. for rare. Let cool, 5 min. Slice across grain and serve. Good hot or cold.


Yes, I had some. Yes it was weird. Now, let me know I'm not the only magnet for this. You guys must have had a few doozies sent your way.


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:18 pm
Posts: 1244
JesBelle wrote:
MEAT TO DIE FOR

Are you sure that's not a typo, i.e. meat to die FROM?

I get dessert recipes, most of which begin with "take 1 box yellow cake mix..." and also involve canned frosting. Of course there is the famous fudge recipe:

Melt-in-Your Mouth Fudge

1 (12 oz.) pkg. any flavor chips, melted (milk or semisweet chocolate, white, butterscotch, or peanut)
1 can Pillsbury Frosting Mix
1 to 2 c. add-ins of your choice (such as chopped nuts, candied fruit, dried fruit, dates, candy bars, M&M's, miniature marshmallows, cookies, cereal, coconut)

P.S. If you like this fudge, that's OK. Just don't tell me. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:12 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:59 am
Posts: 109
Location: Syracuse, NY
Let stand at room temperature all day! Mmmmmm. You've inspired my new sig.

I think I scared people. They don't buy me cookbooks unless I request a specific one. Otherwise they just give me gift certificates and let me pick.

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" Food that`s too safe, too pasteurized, too healthy - it`s bad! There should be some risk, like unpasteurized cheese. Food is about rot, and decay, and fermentation.as much as it is also about freshness."

-Anthony Bourdain


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 4:16 pm 
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Posts: 2062
Actually, I do usually refer to it as "Meat to Die From". I couldn't find the recipe for "More, Please" which I renamed "Enough, Thanks." I just remember it had a "creamy" sauce and chow mein noodles.


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 4:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 8:18 pm
Posts: 562
Location: Winchester, MA
I will never forget one of my mother's favorite brunch meals. Really easy to adjust up and down, I'll give her that.

Hard boil and slice eggs.
Take a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup -- do not dilute. Pour into saucepan. Stir a teaspoon of curry powder in it. Heat the eggs in the soup.

Serve over Pepperidge Farm patty shells (obviously the best part of the dish).

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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 5:08 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:38 pm
Posts: 536
Good god Lindsay, that sounds....well, absolutely gag worthy.

I was ok with that chuck roast recipe until it said to grill it and serve rare. :?

The fudge, hmmm. I think that the colored marshmallows would be a nice color compliment on this dish. I could see it as a side to the Kwanza cake, for any of yur guests who are allergic to peanuts.


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 5:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:03 pm
Posts: 1149
I remember one recipe called Liver Plops I found in a cookbook someone now forgotten gave to me. At least, I found the book in my basement, so it must have some from somewhere. They were basically liver fritters. I could see making good liver fritters, but this recipe would NOT do it.


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 5:30 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:01 am
Posts: 1287
Location: Denver
My mother had a "go to" recipe for a "ladies luncheon"....canned asparagas, heated in a semi diluted can of cream of mushroom soup and served on toast points with a slice of hard cooked egg on top. Definite "gag me" response, but she thought it was fantastic (it was the 1950's)
ilene

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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 5:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:59 am
Posts: 109
Location: Syracuse, NY
My ex wife has told me horror stories of her mother's cooking. One I remember distinctly, unnamed as far as I know, was to take raw ground beef, place it on slices of white bread, then broil until the uncovered bread was burnt, the outside of the meat was done, and the inside was raw. As a bonus, the bread soaked up the raw meat juices from the meat, so it was soggy and bloody at the same time.

I throw up a little in my mouth every time I think of it.

_________________
" Food that`s too safe, too pasteurized, too healthy - it`s bad! There should be some risk, like unpasteurized cheese. Food is about rot, and decay, and fermentation.as much as it is also about freshness."

-Anthony Bourdain


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 Post subject: Re: Horrible Recipes
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 6:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:38 pm
Posts: 536
OK I think we need to shut down this thread. :shock:


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