Dear Mr. Snicket: Did the Baudelaire parents have a recipe for eggnog?
--Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Indeed they did, and it is a recipe I follow every winter:

Ingredients

• One dozen eggs
• Milk or heavy cream
• cinnamon
• nutmeg
• Cognac or brandy
• Meyer lemons
• Cointreau
• sugar cubes
• A loaf of good bread

First, determine who in your party is not qualified to drink alcohol, such as people operating heavy machinery and/or children. For everyone else, place one sugar cube in each cocktail glass, and then pour two parts cognac with one part Cointreau and the juice of one Meyer lemon into a cocktail shaker with ice, shake, and pour into the cocktail glasses. Garnish with slice of Meyer lemon and serve. These are brandy sidecars, and they are delicious, particularly in the later sips, when the sugar cubes have dissolved.

In the morning, some of your guests may feel a bit groggy, and you may revive them by mixing the eggs, cream, and cinnamon in a large bowl, in which you soak the loaf of bread, cut into thick slices. Fry this bread in small batches and serve. This is French toast, and this is also delicious.

People may ask you where the eggnog is. Tell them never mind, because eggnog is atrocious.