Cookaholics Bulletin Board

Possibly we need this as a separate category... 'ranting' that is.

I searched "rant" on this site and found 52 references but they were subject specific, of course; midway in a tirade is not the time to replant your subdued rage to a new thread...

Anyway, this suggestion is for those times when you have the blessings of 'second thoughts' to distill your contempt for some aspects of mankind, ergo, those damn fools I call friends who never bring ANYTHING original or creative or even home-made to those infrequent gatherings where it is just the core group (i.e., those that have been together for a very long time).

BEGIN RANT: Admittedly I am more than a bit obsessed with great flavor and experimental; I love WOW! None of the others are so inclined to my degree but 2 are 'not boring'! The last is appreciative but BORING. All are 60+, have dined in great restaurants world-wide, and love many of my 'experiments' (most of the experiments are excellent, the rest are at least okay). All are great winos, stupendous cellars. The other night one couple shows up with a Costco shrimp platter, the other brings a platter of grocery store cut veges with Ranch dressing dip, and the last couple bears a grocery store 'cheese' platter - not an edible cheese amongst the lot (BTW, I collect cheeses)! But, the wines were STUPENDOUS - WORLD CLASS!

WTF!

Mind you, this was an exception to the rule, but REALLY???? Nobody has kids at home, nobody has employment restrictions that nail their asses to the desk, etc.

OK, end of rant, sort of. What really lit my fuse was when I asked the hostess if it was okay if I brought something unique (I didn't know what she had planned) she responded by saying, "Oh, it doesn't really matter, it doesn't matter to me." (Yeah, there's the inspiration I need to spend a few hours creating...). After fuming awhile, I dumbed down my plans and made an old standby rather than create something new that had had me by the ....

Thanks for listening.

- Mr. Pissed Off

Wino,

Well, if these are real friends, you can ask them. Alternately, the next time you host a gathering, you (a) specify "homemade" in "bring something", and (b) you collect a list 2 days out of what everyone is bringing "to avoid conflicts". Alternately alternately, you supply all the food and simply ask them to bring wine.

Yeah, I know you wanted to rant instead of a fixit recommendation. What can I say? It's the engineer in me.

I do know how you feel. I've had occasions where a friend is bringing something over, and even though I told them about my elaborate cooking preparations, they nevertheless pick something up at the Safeway deli/bakery. Frankly, I'd really rather they didn't bring anything at all; once they bring the Safeway blueberry pie, I'm forced to put it out next to the dessert Kris spent 3 hours making. Grrr.

Oh Wino.....I so relate. I have a group of friends that I adore and we get together monthly for dinner and everyone brings something (assigned by the host for that month). Granted, creative and unique food is more important to me than most of the others. But none of us have kids at home and most of us are retired, so when the Costco hor d'ouevres come out and the 5 bottles of salad dressing are set on the table, I cringe. Almost worse is the can of whipped cream.....I mean how easy is to to make a salad dressing or whip some cream? Anyway, I feel your pain.

Wino,

This reminds me of another story. Friend of mine was coming over:

Him: "I'll bring wine."

Me: "Are you sure? We have a lot of wine to drink up ... we were just up in Sonoma, tasting. We don't have any bread, though." (here I was trying to hint to him that I'm a wino and he's not, and he should bring something else)

Him: "No, I'm sure. I just got something special and want to bring it over."

Me, dubiously: "Okay".

Next Day

He hands me a bottle of wine. "Vendange?" I ask. "Huh. I always thought of that more as a supermarket wine, but ..." He turns bright red. He had, of course, bought it in a supermarket. It tasted like Manischevitz.

What I don't get is why he insisted on bringing a bottle of wine over when I suggested bringing other stuff. I kinda wonder if he'd actually had a better bottle of wine, drank it or something, and then bought the Vendange on his way to my place.

We can also relate; we must have the same friends! And last week we hosted a dinner for 10….and some friends, who love good wine, brought a bottle they claimed was cheaper than Cheap Chuck. And it tasted like it. Come on…we had a really nice dinner…and they bring a $2 bottle….

The saddest thing for us was when after our oenophile/foodie friends had a child, they began to invite us over for dinner, stash the $$$ wine we would bring and serve us wine and seltzer with week old wine remnants from random box wine vintages. Oh, and we would cook the dinner (of random crap from the fridge as there was no actual meal planned) while they did who knows what in another part of the house (drink the good stuff maybe).

I just think food is not that high a priority for some folks. Store-made platters and frozen appies is the level they are comfortable at. During these times I try not to take it as a reflection of how much effort they think I am worth. I'm not saying I'm successful....just that I try.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was a late night rant and waking to your 'understanding' and sharing is a great tonic.

That used to happen to me as well. I do not know much about wine, but I seem to be able to tell the good from the bad stuff by taste. Now I just sweetly say lets finish what I opened and then we'll have what you brought. Exception is for SIL who drinks Chardonnay (I'm a pinot grigio, blanc or gris gal mostly, and DH prefers reds), if they ask, I suggest she bring a bottle and then bring out the very nice Chardonnay wine glass I got for her to use.

As for food, I used to get apoplectic when I'd planned a full meal, asked them not to bring anything and they brought store bought appies or desserts. Again, I just put them in the kitchen and suggest we start with whatever I made. Especially for desserts. I just say, how thoughtful, but I really want your opinion on this one I made, and leave the other in the kitchen. Sometimes I get DH to give them back what they brought with the excuse its only the two of us and we already have way too many leftovers, why don't you enjoy it?

Happy to say, that at least with some, they don't bring anything that is not requested.

One of the lucky things about working in the business is that people rarely bring any food to my house. And, if they do bring wine, it's usually really good. Just lucky I guess.

Amy

I may need to rethink taking frozen poppers and a bag of lightly chilled Red Cat to a New Years Eve party.