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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:22 pm 
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Location: Near Ithaca, NY
Well, if only there were, you know, parents, but some politicianne would say 'the government is trying to raise your kids!' or something like it. I'm, let us politely say, mature, and I remember when you had to take Home Ec, cooking and sewing, and boys took shop and mechanics. Even my kid had to take a form of home ec; now - nuthin' Even the famous "food pyramid' is subject to political scrutiny. This is fodder for another board.

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Last edited by KSyrahSyrah on Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:57 pm 
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Location: Denver
TheFuzzy wrote:
Ilene,

We bought Donna Hay's "Entertaining" book for a friend of ours who prefers opening boxes to actual cooking. She loved it, and got a lot of use out of it.



Thanks, Fuz....I will check it out; it would be a step up for my niece who is very discriminating when it comes to taste.
ilene

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Last edited by gardnercook on Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:17 pm 
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I tried to find out, but who in the hell in Donna Hay?

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:55 pm 
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KSS,

Your google-fu is weak, grasshopper. :ugeek:

http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9780060566302-4

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:57 pm 
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I found it!!! I have an idea Ms. Vivaldo signed a confidentiality agreement.... I don't know, but here it is:

Quote:
Okay, I’m only going to say this once and then I’m leaving the country. Seriously, by the time this post is up, I’ll be in Thailand. I think it’s better for everybody.

Here’s the truth. I wrote and sold the recipe for the Kwanzaa cake to Sandra Lee and, while I’m confessing my soul, yes, for Christ’s sake, the Chanukah cake, too. There, I said it.

Forgive me Father.

I can honestly say Ms. Lee had nothing against African Americans or Jews. She just has incredibly bad food taste. She was not discriminating about who would be harmed from her culinary “creations.” Think what your taste would be like if you came from carnival or circus people.

Did I just offend Paris Hilton?

When the Angel Food Cake Collection came to life, Ms. Lee was converting to Judaism herself for her new husband and she seriously wanted to bring her new “cuisine” to an entire nation. Well, let’s put it this way, she wanted to sell a shitload of books. And she did. She wanted fame and money. And she succeeded. I believe that’s often thought of as the American dream by many, isn’t it? Note to all American Dreamers: This may be a good time to take a look inward.

I think I hear the audible gasps. I’m wondering how long before the angry mob will be gathering on my front yard. Crap, will they bring torches? Will my neighbors call the fire department?

In my defense, I must start at the beginning. I’ve been developing recipes for cookbook authors and food companies for over twenty years. At least twenty of the fifty cookbooks I’ve ghostwritten or contributed to have ended up on the New York Times Best-Seller List. Many celebrities or TV chefs hire me because they are too busy to write their own recipes. This is not unusual.

In some cases, the “talent”, as they are known in the business, have no talent. They do not know how to write a recipe or even cook, for that matter. Therefore, as a trained chef, food stylist and recipe writer, I come in handy.

I sell recipes from $100-$400 dollars apiece plus the cost of groceries. I love it. Not only is it fun, creative and challenging, I get to study all kinds of food. Most projects are just plain terrific. I’m humbled by the amazing people I’ve gotten to write and work for.

But (isn’t there always a but?)…wait for it…wait for it.

One night in my office, at least 10 years ago, my phone rang. I answered it. If only I had noticed that my dogs started to howl and blood mysteriously started seeping from the walls. Alas, I did not. So excited to close the sale, I made an appointment with a personal assistant to meet “the next Martha Stewart, only bigger.” I was happy to think about this latest project that would help feed my assistants.

It turned out that the premise of this cookbook would be “delicious desserts with nothing made from scratch.” This book would be the second in a series. The first book was almost done, but apparently the writer, food stylist and recipe tester from that first book had all gone sailing in the Bermuda Triangle to celebrate and had disappeared. The books were being self-published by Ms. Lee, unless she could find a publisher, ASAP. She really, really wanted a publishing partner.

I ‘m not sure if it was because my head was spinning 360 degrees and my retinas had become burned by some horrible smoke that seemed to fill the room whenever she moved, but I wasn’t grasping the concept. “No fresh food. Just canned food. Nothing fresh, do you understand me? All food out of cans or boxes, so it’s easy for the homemaker …and write the brand name of the cans or boxes right in the recipe.”

I assumed it was the ten years of smoking dope in my formative years that was making me stupid. Then I thought, okay, this is another slant on The Cake Mix Doctor, by Anne Byrn. A book that had been wildly successful. I can do this.

Before you say a word, let me say one more thing in my defense.

I have people that depend on me for their livelihood. Assistants, designers, photographers, and especially my American Express Platinum card. I sign the checks, so I have to bring in the money. To make my small business work, I took the job. First time I ever signed a contract. Of all the truly big stars and real celebrities I’ve worked with, it was always just a handshake and my reputation for getting the job done that created the deal. To put it simply, I deliver what I say I will.

Ms. Lee insisted on a contract. Her attorney at the time also sold Mexican art.

Please, I can’t make this shit up.

Fuck me; of course I should have seen the writing on the wall.

Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.

Ms. Lee called and though we were done with the book, she needed at least ten extra angel food cakes for “fun” sugary holiday times to sell to a magazine. Just a reader’s note, it wasn’t Gourmet, but the magazine I designed those “adorable cakes” for is still in business.

Read it and weep.

Please ask yourself, what would you have done in my place? See how that Kwanzaa cake is looking better from my perspective? I will tell you truly, the candles were her idea.

I guess I imagined something more refined. And I know the Corn Nuts were disgusting, but she didn’t. As a matter of fact, the more tasteless the recipes got the more she liked them, the faster she approved them, and I could get home and drink some medium-priced wine after our meetings. She’s not a good role model for abstinence.

Get it?

The last words I’ll speak, before I board my plane and go to a land where nobody knows Sandra Lee, is that I had to fill the cavity of the Chanukah cake with marshmallows so it wouldn’t collapse under all that frosting, and so that much-discussed pearl Star of David “crown” wouldn’t topple. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I’ve never watched any of the videos on YouTube. My priest says, “Never call the devil.”

And to think, Anthony Bourdain was afraid of her. Crap, he was never even close.


Denise Vivaldo is an award winning author and food stylist. Her latest book, The Food Stylist’s Handbook, was recently featured on The Today Show’s Holiday Picks.
She’s also a big believer in forgiveness.


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A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard


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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:04 pm 
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JesBelle wrote:
I don't know about Home Ec, but there should be a Life Skills class -- basic cooking, home maintenance, cleaning, finance, car repair, and a nice healthy dose of critical thinking wouldn't go amiss, either.


Critical thinking? In America? Where do you think you are?

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:23 pm 
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Yeah, I know. I'm that person who Snopeses all her friends' dumbass reposts on Facebook.


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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:52 am 
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Location: Just outside of Philadelphia PA
KSyrahSyrah wrote:
Well, if only there were, you know, parents, but some politicianne would say 'the government is trying to raise your kids!' or something like it. I'm, let us politely say, mature, and I remember when you had to take Home Ec, cooking and sewing, and boys took shop and mechanics. Even my kid had to take a form of home ec; now - nuthin' Even the famous "food pyramid' is subject to political scrutiny. This is fodder for another board.

We took both - a year of home ec and a year of shop...no gender segregation

I'm just tired of the Kwanzaa cake being trotted out every year as if we haven't seen it

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I dream a dream of home...Where there’s coffee on the table...And kindness in your hand- Lyle Lovett


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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:23 pm 
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Quote:
Your google-fu is weak, grasshopper.
I found her books, I just couldn't think of who she is. I asked Honey if he had, but then he only sort of knows who Martha Stewart is. I remember something about her, but I don't know what it is/was. Mad Cow disease. Mum used to send me Australian cookbooks, but hers wasn't among them.

As far as the Kwanzaa cake, I had never heard of of it, until the cooking boards.

When I was in school, back in the last century, only girls took Home Ec. And we were required to wear skirts/dresses to school, too.

When The Kid was little, he had to help with dinner (he wasn't always so much help) but he still had to pitch in. When he was older, he had to plan one meal a week and cook it. I should tell you, I was considered the "mean mommy." I always joked that someone was going to turn me in to CPS. But he does know somewhat how to cook. During b-ball season, we don't have 'dinner,' we snack, and he would go to the kitchen and arrange a tray - make it nice. Most of his friends are clueless. One of them, when I said, 'don't you know how to cook' said, "that's what my mom is for." To my credit, the fellow is still alive.

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A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard


Last edited by KSyrahSyrah on Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: In defense of Sandra Lee.....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:15 pm 
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Posts: 1140
Location: Kansas City
Our kids all know how to cook, excellent pizza makers every one, but my granddaughter with 3 little boys hasn't a clue. I've been working on her for about 10 years but alas, no luck. I've bought every cookbook that I thought she might use but doubt she has even read them. The boys live on Sonic & McDonald's. My last purchase for her was a dishwasher safe electric skillet. I told her she can just wipe it out or put it in the dishwasher. I gave her a list of 10 or 12 very simple menus that are mainly warming up, not cooking, but the skillet is still in the box on her drainboard. I don't get it. DH tells me to shut up about it but it just kills me. Everytime the boys come over (which thankfully is often) the first thing they say is "got anything to eat, Nana?" So, what can I do? Zip it says DH.
Fitzie


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